So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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