You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
