i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
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I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.