Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night

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  (410): Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night http://tfl.nu/ayrv
  Replies (34) Good night (1301) Bad night (6271)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities

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  (804): I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities http://tfl.nu/vh2c
  Replies (16) Good night (4131) Bad night (690)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"

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  (978): why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm" http://tfl.nu/ynyp
  Replies (64) Good night (6622) Bad night (956)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes

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  (313): I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes http://tfl.nu/9zua
  Replies (50) Good night (5625) Bad night (903)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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  (724): the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year." http://tfl.nu/oy1q
  Replies (26) Good night (1461) Bad night (4959)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2470) Bad night (5252)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours

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  (419): You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours http://tfl.nu/i7uw
  Replies (2) Good night (2197) Bad night (784)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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  (774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz
  Replies (8) Good night (1070) Bad night (1738)
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  (1954): View more from

  You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday

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  (1954): You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday http://tfl.nu/byqw
  Replies (9) Good night (2025) Bad night (612)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.

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  (+44): I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/7nti
  Replies (3) Good night (2534) Bad night (779)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.

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  (254): I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire. http://tfl.nu/x5cn
  Replies (11) Good night (2192) Bad night (706)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?

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  (908): my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"? http://tfl.nu/76qz
  Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (604)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher

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  (508): Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher http://tfl.nu/j0wm
  Replies (3) Good night (1695) Bad night (497)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...

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  (520): His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it... http://tfl.nu/6yoy
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (416)
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  (477): View more from

  I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me

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  (477): I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me http://tfl.nu/o2l0
  Replies (12) Good night (704) Bad night (398)

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