Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public. http://tfl.nu/c7j6
  Replies (3) Good night (572) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york http://tfl.nu/xd1t
  Replies (13) Good night (2960) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York.. http://tfl.nu/qpq0
  Replies (13) Good night (3001) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am? http://tfl.nu/38zg
  Replies (26) Good night (2977) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant

  (360): View more from Washington

  At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant (360): At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats http://tfl.nu/21vb
  Replies (5) Good night (665) Bad night (2221)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw http://tfl.nu/7ysm
  Replies (9) Good night (1083) Bad night (2289)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/3wmp
  Replies (17) Good night (3315) Bad night (875)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail" http://tfl.nu/o5gt
  Replies (37) Good night (6467) Bad night (1396)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift. http://tfl.nu/z6oe
  Replies (31) Good night (1417) Bad night (3895)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (316): I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong. (1-316): Yeah I'm going to bathe him. http://tfl.nu/s84m
  Replies (6) Good night (3813) Bad night (898)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes. http://tfl.nu/n4c7
  Replies (4) Good night (577) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (279): View more from

  Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (279): Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones? (574): You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you http://tfl.nu/23r0
  Replies (14) Good night (4533) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake. http://tfl.nu/bbsk
  Replies (6) Good night (455) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks. (202): I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to. http://tfl.nu/wpl5
  Replies (10) Good night (1448) Bad night (608)

Randomize