Texts From Last Night

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  (276): View more from Virginia

  Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.

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  (276): Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while. http://tfl.nu/zglk
  Replies (3) Good night (908) Bad night (1290)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics

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  (740): Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics http://tfl.nu/20pv
  Replies (3) Good night (2037) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"

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  (972): Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88" http://tfl.nu/q0w3
  Replies (58) Good night (4864) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

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  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3774) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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  (336): A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one http://tfl.nu/284v
  Replies (25) Good night (8116) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?

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  (914): What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"? http://tfl.nu/mnqg
  Replies (13) Good night (1149) Bad night (5007)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently

  (540): View more from Virginia

  and skipped dinner

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  (540): 3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently (540): and skipped dinner http://tfl.nu/igda
  Replies (22) Good night (1199) Bad night (4600)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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  (972): Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life. http://tfl.nu/6m4u
  Replies (11) Good night (2474) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.

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  (201): We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate. http://tfl.nu/t4f1
  Replies (11) Good night (865) Bad night (3533)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.

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  (859): We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information. http://tfl.nu/bnu1
  Replies (1) Good night (1150) Bad night (841)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table

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  (603): therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table http://tfl.nu/r83g
  Replies (3) Good night (1600) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat

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  (925): she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat http://tfl.nu/5es2
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (625)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.

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  (+44): She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn. http://tfl.nu/qwtm
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (353)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  But doesn't your shift end at like noon?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I don't think you understand.

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  (540): I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work. (703): But doesn't your shift end at like noon? (540): I don't think you understand. http://tfl.nu/n6r0
  Replies (3) Good night (1056) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.

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  (601): My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service. (1-601): Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar. http://tfl.nu/yh0y
  Replies (1) Good night (980) Bad night (290)

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