Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?

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(415): View more from California

Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?

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(713): View more from Texas

I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(253): View more from Washington

Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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(631): View more from New York

We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.

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(248): View more from Michigan

So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.

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