Someone shit on the floor
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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