and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
