I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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