I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
