Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
