rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
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Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
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He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
True strength comes from lack of pants
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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