so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
