I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
