a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Vodka?
Forever.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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