hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
