I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize