Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
