Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Randomize
