I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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