i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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