we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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