Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
