i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
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Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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