OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
