even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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