That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
