Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
