sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
