I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
too bad you live with your parents still
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
