i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
