SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
