Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
this just has baby written all over it
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
