he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
