K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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