I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
