He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
