I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
