Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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