Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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