you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
