i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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