Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
