And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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