I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
