i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
