We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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