My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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