let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
