remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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