i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
