im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
