When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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