Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.