Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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