dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
