Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
