I can tuck mytits in my pants
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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