after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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