I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
