If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
