i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
one might say we're banned from that church
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
