this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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