I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
