I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
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He better not be in your backpack
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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