Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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