I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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