a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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