I'm so fucking centered right now
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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